Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
