At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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