Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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