every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
