OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
