yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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