I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
