Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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