So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
