how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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