is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize