put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
