I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
