Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
