420 ftw
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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