I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
