What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Drake has all the answers
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
