Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
