i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
