how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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