Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
