she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
