No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
