ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just found puke in my bra..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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