You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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