Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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