Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
