So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
