If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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