What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize