we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize