Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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