I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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