that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
