There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
