You really coming over, don't trick.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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