I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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