Me too!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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