you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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