There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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