so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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