yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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