What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
