she looked like the bat from fern gully.
thus making me awesome and them whores
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
