Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
