his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
