Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
