Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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