Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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