So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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