Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
