I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
