he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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