apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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