I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
