i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
