Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
